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...the Becks =o)

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...mwahaha.... [23 Aug 2001|07:37pm]
[ mood | farewell ]

just thought i'd drop by and let you know what's going on. well, i'm gaining distance from everything and i don't want to write in this journal anymore. so now, i say farewell.. *waves to everyone* i talked my mom into letting me having the computer back and everything so yea. if you guys wanna keep in touch or wanna know how i'm doing just IM me on AIM ((my s/n is bubblegumbabsy)) or email me ((theflyingbobs@hotmail.com)) welp, i guess that's all. byee everyone.

4 lovins| give me lovins

online until my mom gets home.. [22 Aug 2001|11:31am]
[ mood | lonely ]

Hey, I'm sneaking online until mom gets home @ 5. Well, anyway.. About what happened:

Brittany stole her mom's car, AGAIN, and came and picked me up. Ashley and Whitney were with her. We drove to Mark's to pick Markie up and then went to South Walmart. I gave Brittany the money and she went in and stole 4 boxes of corcidin and bought some starbursts. We were on our way to Jesse's and as we were pulling in, Markie hit Steve's bumper on his truck causing the whole fuckin' side of Brittany's Mom's car to be dented and scratched. I guess Pap called the cops. We all went to Hardee's to get something to drink and take our corcidins. I took mine and we were all fine for awhile. The cops started rolling in so I ran up to Jesse's and when they asked, told them I was staying the night with her. I don't remember much of the rest cuz I was trippin' balls. I remember cops asking me questions and shit and I remember my mom coming to pick me up. I guess Brittany told the cops I MADE her take the car and that we were all drunk. *shrugs* Who knows.. I don't really care though cuz I'll be out of here soon and Mom can't keep me locked in this house forever. Well, I'll try to keep sneaking on and keep you updated, but no promises. Byee! *waves*

1 lovin| give me lovins

grounded...arrested again... [21 Aug 2001|01:37pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Hey, I got arrested ONCE AGAIN and now I'm "grounded" from everything for a LONG ass time. I'll try to sneak on later and tell you more about it.. byee! *waves*

give me lovins

Survey [20 Aug 2001|09:34pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

This is cute, I got it from Dookiegrld.

1.How many people have you "been" with? 2
2.How many were them were one night stands? 1
3.Who was the best? lol, no one needs to know this.
4.Who was the worst? hahahaha, makes me laugh to think about that one.
5.Why was it bad? PAIN!
7. How old you were you when you lost your virginity? 14
8. Are you still with that person? NEVER!
9. Was that person impotent? lol, nope
10. Was that person the most beautiful thing on earth? *sigh* I'll never look @ anyone the way I looked @ him.
11. How many people do you think you will have sex with? lol, i'm bekkee.. who knows!
13. Have you ever been in love? *sighs great big* more than once.
14. Are you in love now? I'm in love with a memory.
15. Are your parents divoriced? I only have one parent. =(
16. Did this affect you as a child? I didn't really have a childhood.
17. Do you have a current crush? *blushes* not telling =)
17. What part of your body to you find the most appealing? I'm ugly. My whole body sucks.
18. What do you find attractive on a male? eyes.. and smile
19. What makes you cringe? Heights. I hate heights.
20. Has a boy ever made you cry? AHHH! YES!
21.What are you wearing right now? Cannibal Corpse shirt and loose jeans.
22.When's the last time you showered? When I became undrunk...
23.Who is your best friend? Sissy Sawah, Bobby, Kirk.. i think that's close to it.
24.Who are you closest friends? Sissy Sawah, Bobby, Kirk, Pork, Cale..
25.How do you feel right now? Lonely.
26. When's the last time you ate? Almost 4 days ago
Do you have anything you'd like to add?
I suck. =c)

give me lovins

bored.. and lonely [20 Aug 2001|09:20pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Hey. Well, I just talked to my wee friend.. but not for long.. =( I misses him.. Haven't talked to him much lately.. We usually talk all day and all night. *sniff sniff* Well, Bill was s'posed to hook us up with some alcohol, but grr... Must've lied.. like usual. *sigh* Welp, before I get too pissed, Imma go do something. Byee! *waves*

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golly, lotsa fun last night! [20 Aug 2001|03:15pm]
[ mood | blank ]

Hey! Well, let's see. Brittany calls around 12 and asks if I wanna sneak out. Of course, me being Bekkee, I say yes ((lol)). She picks Chris and I up @ around 1:30 and we go up to Mark's house. ALKEEHAUL! =c) We got drunk and then smoked some pot. Picked up her friend Whitney, went looking for some corcidin. Couldn't find any, so we took Whitney home and we drove around some more. Made our way to Quincy Park. Jessica B. and I immediately run towards the tank and jump on it. Then we sorta fall off. *giggle* We started running towards the flagpole and I slip on the damp grass and fall down and go bye bye! FUN! =c) Markie dropped Chris and I off @ our house around 4:30 or so ((drunk, mind you)). I get online and talk to some people. I think Pork told me to call him and I did. I think that's why there's a snowman painted on Bobby's door. HAHA! =c) Getting drunk again tonight, that's if I can get the moneys. Welp, I'll write more later. Byee! *waves*

give me lovins

[19 Aug 2001|07:45pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

This is what my away message on AIM says and this is what I feel:

if any of my so called "friends" needed me to be there with them, i'd be there in a second.. but is it the same for me? noooo.. because i'm NOT a good friend, i'm NOT a good person, and i DON'T deserve to be here.. fuck you all... FUCK YOU.

looks like i'm home alone with just my razor blade to keep me company.. all because my friends are too good to be with me because they all have better things to do..

FUCK FRIENDSHIP! it all goes to shit. goodbye..

i'm sorry if i'm not a good friend.

2 lovins| give me lovins

*-i'll be your cryin' shoulder.. i'll be love suicide...i'll be better when i'm older..-* [19 Aug 2001|02:41pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Hi. Not having a good day. I fucking hate it here. Chris and Mom choose to be against me EVERYDAY OF MY FUCKING LIFE. I'm sick of this shit. It'd also be nice to be loved. By anyone at all. ANYONE. All I have right now is Sawah and Bob and both of them have been taken away from me. =*( I need a guy that will love me for me. AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYONE? I must not be. Nobody cares about me. I'm nothing compared to everyone else. I'm a nobody. I'm nothing. Nobody cares. *sigh* I just wish SOMEONE would care.

3 lovins| give me lovins

...faded pictures of a forgotten past, framed in this regret...* [19 Aug 2001|09:46am]
[ mood | lonely ]

Woke up to my kitty laying on my tummy. Aww, she's soooo cute! =c) I love kitties. Kitties and wittle babies are the bestest ever! ((I have an obsession)). Whoo, police station today, what fun.. I still have sticky adhesive shit left on me from the heart machine.. Grrr.. I think I'm allergic to it because my vessels are busting from where it was @. ((my dad was allergic to adhesive tape as well)) Ugh, anyway.. more later...

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police station tomorrie.. sawy babes tomorrie! [19 Aug 2001|12:02am]
[ mood | lonely ]

Hey, well, I have to go to the police station tomorrow and I'm hoping to go a little bit early so I can have some time to talk to Sawah. We talked on the phone a little bit earlier. Her sister's wedding was great I guess and everything went fine. *sigh* I'll write more laters.. byee

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CHARCOAL...bad... =( [18 Aug 2001|02:03pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Well, well, well... Let's see. LOOONG night last night. Things DIDN'T turn out as we were hoping. We went to Wal-mart, got the pills, and drove to their dad's. We took them and WHOA! We were havin' fun. Well, Suzanne wanted to go out and buy more, so, we went with her. She got out of the car and Sawah and I were too scared to stay in the car alone, so we caught up with her. She went to take them to the counter, and we were walking around waiting on her. The cop saw us and decided to be an ass, and walks up to us. Sawah was too fucked up to talk, so I did the talking. He thought we were drunk, but I had to explain to him what we were on. Suzanne comes out, and gets bombarded by the cops. She gets charged for contributing and drug abuse I think. The ambulance was there and Sarah didn't know what was going on, so I had to explain all of it to her. We got to the hospital and yea, Sawah and I got seperated. All kinds of heart monitors were hooked up to me. I had to change into a gown. Forced to drink cup after cup of charcoal. I puked 1/2 of it up. They wanted me to piss in a cup, but fuck that. I can't ever piss in a cup. Anyway, they did all kinds of tests, and I was finished. I got home about 5:30 or so. =( Now, parents telling me and Sawah that we's not allowed to see each other.. Fuck them! They can't stop us!!!!

give me lovins

...off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz... [17 Aug 2001|08:28pm]
[ mood | excited ]

hewwo! i'm just chillin' gettin' ready to goto sawah's for a party night.. it's a bachelor party for her sissy! *wink* we's all gettin' fucked up! ROCK! lol, sawwies, justa bit excited.. talk to you all tomorrie after the wedding.. byee *waves*

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*~underestimated interventions, used against our youth~* [17 Aug 2001|12:48pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

Hewwos! We had soooo much fun last night. I'm going to try to remember it so I can tell you about it. Well, we walked to the store to get a pop cuz I can't take the pills with water, cuz it's ewwy!!! We came back, took them, and Chris starts annoying me before they kick in. And then he starts kickin' the shit outta me, but that's okie. Well, 10 minutes pass and Sawah's already kicked in. Mine hadn't yet, so we went outside and I pushed her down the street in the buggy that Snyder and I stole. She was flipping out, lol! Came back inside, hung in my room for awhile, and mom comes home. We were scared out of our minds, so we went back outside and laid in her truck for awhile. Came back inside, went to my room, and started being fuckin' stupid. We wanted to go play, so we went to the playground. I rolled down the hill =c)! We had fun there, but we came home. We ran out of cigs, so Bill told us to meet him at the corner, we went, and were "flying". He bought us two packs! =c)!!!
We came home and.. did nothing, I guess, cuz it was wearing off. We were ALMOST asleep and mom comes in and makes us talk to the bob. SHE WOKE US UP! =( Well, that was our night, so yea! =c)

...the Rock Star
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ooooh.. lol, funny [16 Aug 2001|05:22pm]
[ mood | amused ]

hehe, i forgot to metion sawah and i were watchin' a porn and got pissed cuz the didn't have an orgy, lol =c)!

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*-uptight, i'm a nag with a gun, yea, alright-* [16 Aug 2001|05:12pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Hewwos! =c) Well, let's see. Yesterday I only wrote one brief little entry due to the fact that my mom chose that night as a beating night. Ugh.. I can't wait for the 10th, more details on that as the date approaches.

Anyway, Sarah and her mom weren't getting along either, so Sawah came over here. Mom started being nicer, but I went to Sawah's and spent the night. We rented movies and got candy! YAY! GO US! =c) We watched *Nightmare on Elm Street, Freddy's Dead* *Valentine* *The Mexican ((suckass!))* *GUMBY! ((ya know, the clay!))* and *The Buttercream Gang!* Fun stuff! Today, her sissy went and got us DXM, so we're gonna do that tonite..

We had to take the dog to the vet and it pissed all over Suzanne's b/f.. funny stuff =c) They look cute together though, their wedding's gonna be adorable! *awwww*

Welp, I better go, byee! *waves*


...-the screw up-...
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--you'll be sorry when i'm gone-- [15 Aug 2001|06:05pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

waitin' for sept. 10th to come.. hate it here.. =(

2 lovins| give me lovins

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:>|<:we sleep in what we create, right now i'm living in so much hate:>|<:
[14 Aug 2001|07:40pm]
[ mood | energetic ]

Hewwo! Whoa, long day and night ((last night)). Well, let's see. I had an away message up about a boy and he knew it was about him, so he got offline and called me. We talked about the whole thing. =/ For a long time.. *sigh* I felt bad. I was reading through all of his old letters and I got reminded of everything he ever said to me and was denying any of it being true. I'm still in denial, but eh. I stayed up all night last night writing poems. I wrote lots. Hmm, I was up and bouncy until 9 this morning and then I went to bed until 11 because I was awakened by Jesse's call. I love my Jesse =) ((Jesse Judge)) She wanted me to goto her apartments and hang w/her for a while. I got there about 1 and Chris, Markie, Jessie, and I had some fun =c)!!! Aww, I loves my babe! Well, I got home and chilled wif the hottie hippies that live across the street, fun stuff! =c) Sawah's s'posed to come over as soon as she gets in town from seeing Bobba, so yea.. Fun day! YES! =c) *giggle* Full of adventure. Oh, and plus, I went to Wendy's and got me some munch-o's!! go me! Welp, I'm out.

2 lovins| give me lovins

*-consider the odds, consider the obvious, the martyr is meaningless, the campaign has died-* [13 Aug 2001|10:16pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

Hey! Whoa, it's been awhile since I've updated. I tried updating earlier, but LJ wouldn't fucking load.. *gives mean face* Anyhoo.. Didn't do much yesterday, just hung wif Sawah and watched movies and such. Saw her in her bridesmaid dress, and it was cute-i-ful! =c) *smiles great big* She's gonna go see Bob tomorrie, and we're both gonna go before school starts. So, go us! =c) Well, let's see.. Today and late last night, was spent cleaning out my closet, hanging up my clothes, and actually making it neat. ((most of you should know how fuckin' messy it looked)) Well, now, it's all pretty-ful and depressing! YAY! Oh!!! I got my aroma therapy thingie hooked up, so it's all gravy! I went to bed late and woke up about 10 this morning and went back to cleaning. It's cozy in my room now! *giggles* I gotta talk to Bob earlier, so that's good. The cat won't fuckin' stop making noises.. I'm about to throw the damn thing out the door! >=c|

I went shopping for school stuff today and got my backpack. ((One just like yours Sawah!!!)) I got a whole bunch of neat stuff too, so yay!

Welp, I better go, I have tons of poems to write *giggle* Byee! *blows a kiss*

give me lovins

...@ sarah's... [12 Aug 2001|01:17am]
[ mood | weird ]

heyhey, i'm @ my sissy sawah's house and figured, hey, since i have the time, why not update! =c) Well, let's see... Mom took me shopping and I bought 5 pairs of jeans and 3 shirts. I only shopped @ JC Penney's cuz I dislike shopping.. yes. *giggle* Anyhoo.. I get home and Sarah calls. She comes and picks me up, and we went to the mall. Her mom's b/f and his daughter was with us. She seemed nice, but she didn't talk all that much so I really couldn't tell. We all went to the mall, *giggle*, and we looked @ the RV thingies.. ((campers, whatever you wanna call 'em)). We walked around the mall a little bit ((Sarah and I, that is)) while the momma, the chicks dadda, and the chick went around. We walked into Profitt's and these workers bombarded by people with flyers. We walked outside and set them on fire, and then cigarettes. Anyhoo, we walked back in and saw this really neat marble thingie.. Sarah picked it up from the waterfall thinga majig and water went everywhere.. She put it back on and we ran.. UNTIL we saw the manican.. This manican was a unique one, lemme tell ya... I was playing around with the hand on it cuz it moved and I tried to push it back up, and well, the whole fuckin' arm fell off. We ran fast. =c) We had some gum that we didn't want anymore, so on the way back, we spit it out on the ground. =c) We kept walking, and there was a "Caution: Wet Floor" sign that I just had to hump! =) I used to hump things all the damn time, haha. We were waiting for her mom to meet us and we walked into Afterthoughts, looked around, and had some guy that I hate come up and annoy the fuck outta me. *grr to him* We were waiting in line for the movie ((We saw The Others)) and I was tellin' Sawah about Cale, and then he comes up to me.. weird stuff. Well, the movie rocked =c) Sarah jumped bunches though.. and hit me, but it's all gravy =c).

Well, that was pretty much my day, and here I am.. sitting here wif my sissy gettin' ready to go smoke a ciggy.. again.. =c)!!!

Today is hers and Bobby's 7 month anniversary.. yes sireebobbadoodle! Welp, I'm out.


...the Becks! =c)
2 lovins| give me lovins

x-so where do we go and what do we do? and why is the table set for two?-x [11 Aug 2001|02:19pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Heyhey. Well, yesterday pretty much sucked. Chris was trying to kill me all day, didn't have cigarette's, periods blow my ass, lol. I got to see Rachee and that was about the only good part *sigh* I sooo didn't wanna be @ the party. I don't like Jackson people all that well. I do, but they act so much more different than me. I was fucking depressed all day/night. ='( I tried to kill myself so many different ways and now, my wrists are slit. I'm staying with Campos tonight, so yea. =/ S'posed to go school shopping sometime soon.. =( Welp, I guess I'll be back tomorrow, Byee everyone. *waves* Oh, and if you have plans for tomorrow, let me know, cause I've got nothin'..

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